ritikajyala:

I lost my best friend 3 years ago- not lost as in dead but lost as in we only text each other on our birthdays now. Movies and books don’t tell you that a friendship dying is like the sinking of a ship, you try to get higher and higher and hold onto the rails and unanswered texts, the captain tries to steer it to safety and salvage pieces of two broken hearts until you’re left with memories of what once was. We were friends for a decade and knew each other’s diaries by heart, I still remember her phone number and the way she took her coffee. Seeing her in streets is like breathing in a scent you forgot you knew but it immediately takes you back to a summer in ‘07.

Movies and books also don’t tell you that friendships don’t just end after one fight or incident, it’s like the rusting of a bridge, the slow decay of flesh and bones and secrets. It took weeks, months- until one day I woke up and I realized I hadn’t thought of her in a while. And I wrote a poem that day and I titled it 'The dying of a best friend’ and I put all my love for her in a tiny box with my half of the matching pendant of a dolphin we had and stored them in a corner of my heart under the heading Grief. Where else can one hide unspent love?

It’s been 3 years since I lost my best friend, lost as in I still carry our secrets in a tiny box but we only text each other on our birthdays.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire

wei–wuxian:

what are your twenties if not an endless string of the ghosts of who you thought you would become

deadpoet-skull:

tell me how to love anyone that will come after you. tell me how to look them in the eyes without wishing they were yours.

yms1:

‏Today: stressed Tomorrow: stressed Next month: stressed Next year: stressed Next life: stressed

cutecapybarapics:

society-addiction:

I honestly feel that if I disappeared, nobody would even notice.

(via paralysing-sadness)

(via vanitasuu)

thoughtkick:

“She tries her best, but it hurts her chest.”

— The 1975, “She Lays Down”

aidashakur:

(via bratty-swtch-deactivated2022030)

hel7l7:

I dreamed you called me crying, and in this dream each apology I ever begged for spills from your lips so easily that I wonder why I ever had to beg at all

(via spiderword)

thewildetyme:

“What if I slept a little more and forgot about all this nonsense.”

— Franz Kafka

ancientsstudies:

Owned by the Nature. x

(Source: instagram.com)

drenchedingrief:

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been me. My eyes are painfully open, and I want to escape.”

–Fernando Pessoa / Anais Nin

zoffia:

-Dead Poets Society

But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.

I don’t know what I’m doing anymore; I made a lot of great improvements in my life and really thought I was working on making myself be a better person, but I still feel so meh.

The past feels like it’s creeping up more and more lately, old friendships that aren’t around anymore have been invading my thoughts a lot. One person from the past has been the most coming up the most out of everything. I wish I could reach out. Believe me I’ve tried, but I’m sure I’m blocked so no point to keep bothering. I wish I could repair the damage that was caused because I miss you. Not like the “I’m lonely” miss you but the “something good happened I wanna share it with you” and the “this reminded me of you, I hope your okay” miss you. I wonder if you randomly think of me like how I do of you or if you’ve just completely forgotten about me by now. I hope you’re doing okay, you deserve nothing but the best. I know I need to let you go and move on from the past, but it’s feels harder to do when there was no closure. I thought we could fix this but then you just disappeared. I have no clue where to start for getting over this when you were there for me for almost 7 years of my life and I never thought I’d lose you.

zackisontumblr:

do you ever sabotage your own free time? like wtf is that about? i want to play this game or read or do something specific but instead i will just stare out the window or scroll mindlessly???